Do you avoid asking for referrals because you don’t think you can reciprocate?

If so, you’re not alone.

This is one of the topics from the most recent episode of the Marketing Mentor Podcast with special guest Maegan Megginson, of Deeply Rested.

Maegan’s a therapist-turned-coach who helps business owners find a path out of overwhelm.

And she approaches networking a lot like I do, with a focus on relationship-building.

Or what I call making “business friends.”

Now, if you think the purpose of networking is to connect with potential clients, that’s only part of it.

Sometimes referral sources – peers and people who could potentially send business your way – are even more valuable.

It’s all part of building your most valuable asset - your network.

Maegan agrees that when you focus on the person in front of you, rather than what you want to “get” from them, networking is more fun and more effective.

But how do you ask a new “business friend” for a referral when you don’t know anyone to refer back to them?

Here’s what Maegan says:

“I would always step into those relationships with the spirit of ‘We're both doing work in our community. How can we support each other as entrepreneurs and how can we support each other as people who are doing similar types of work?’”

And I agree.

Put your energy, first, into building the relationship. Then share “asks” when it feels right.

Don’t have someone specific to refer to them? Maybe you can help them in some other way down the road.

Here’s how Meagan put it:

“It's not just about the ask. By being in relationship with this referral source, you are giving something to them. You're giving yourself to them. You're giving your support to them, human to human. So maybe you're not supporting them with referrals, but you're supporting them with your presence, with your attention, with your care. And that shouldn't be understated.”

Beautiful. I couldn’t agree more. Sounds a lot like “generosity as a marketing tool.”

So if you avoid asking for referrals because you don’t know what you can offer…

Shift your focus to building a relationship, rather than the transaction.

Listen to my full podcast episode with Maegan here. We also covered handling the evolution of your business, how to make your business an extension of you, listening to the market, and more.

How do you approach the “ask” in a networking relationship? Share your take here on LinkedIn.